Who says you need to be in a relationship to enjoy Valentine’s Day? Jing Xia got involved in the various Valentine’s Day activities available for those without a partner.
To start with, happy Valentine’s Day to all no matter if you have a lover, and happy Birthday to those who are as lucky as me.
I remember there’s a game called 36 Questions to Fall in Love which was said to be designed by a group of psychologists. Two decades later, Mandy Len Catron renewed and adapt them to the modern days. The questions are designed to explore the personality, values or views towards love, life, death, and money, etc. and to boost up the intimacy between two strangers.
Wondering if it does have the magic of making someone be able to ‘put my arms around every girl/boy I see’ like in the song No One Compares to You, I played the game with my mum. I reckoned that it would probably be helpful to open up conversations that we didn’t usually have, such as “if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”. Guess what? I had the biggest quarrel ever with my mum, but strangely I couldn’t really remember the reasons why we fought.
The thing I want to underline is that falling love is relatively easy, but starting a relationship needs some guts (at least for me) because it is never only about the tango of two. It also reveals a person’s personality, defence mechanism and psychological needs deep down that have developed during the early years of our life. Things we may not be conscious about until being touched.
For instance, just asking myself that “are you ready to face the same guy everyday and share time and space with him?” is scary enough. It actually indicates the way I interact with my family; that I feel more comfortable with personal space. In fact, many psychologists believe we spend a lifelong time solving childhood issues and I couldn’t agree more. Yet, no matter the positive or negative marks family has left on you, inner peace and a truly resilient person is born when we decide to reconcile with the past and most importantly, learn we deserve to be loved.
Today is the last of Student Volunteer Week and has been wrapped up with several activities of the Love Yourself campaign. This includes time capsule making, cards for seniors in care homes in Colchester, making Love Yourself packages and face painting. To be honest, the first thought I had about the event was “oh come on, Valentine’s Day is another day for self-pity for the singles” and felt a bit unease that the status of being single was once again stressed by the it. But by taking part I totally felt another way around.
Because seeing those smiles, chocolates, flowers, cards with warm words, colourful bath balls, and societies raising funds for UNICEF and mental health projects, I came to realise that Valentine’s Day isn’t an limited edition for couples, but a day of love for everyone.
Feature image taken by Jing Xia.